Last week when I posted my thoughts I had so much positive feedback and it brought me so much warmth that I want to do another. Outside of makeup and beauty, I do reflect on life often and I feel that I should speak out sometimes. Because we’re all friends here, right?
We are, and that’s why I want to talk about something that has been a bit of a roller coaster for me the past 5 years…friendship. Some people have had the same friends since they were very little. I have a few friends that I keep in touch with every now and then from when I was very young, but not many.
Truth is, friendship has always been a weird aspect in my life. No, I promise you all that I’m not a mean and rude person in real life. Blunt and bit too headstrong? Sure. Malicious? No.
I have a very introverted personality, so it takes someone that’s the literal opposite of me (not all the time) to truly be my friend. I know that sounds odd, but very extroverted people are the types that reach out to me first and know that I’m not being rude, making plans just makes me feel anxious. They do all the talking so I can just sit back, listen, and giggle. It’s a very symbiotic kind of thing, really.
Then there’s the heartache that I’ve had with friendships over the past few years. Yes, friendships can be about as or even more heartbreaking than intimate relationships at times. On top of being very introverted, I’m very trusting and forgiving. These seem like great qualities, but it’s also qualities that others tend to take advantage of.
Don’t worry, this post isn’t going to turn into a salt fest where I get bitter and talk badly about others. I just wanted to point that out. I actually took a break from most of my friendships. My heart was broken, so I distanced myself. I still had my few very very close friends, but that was it. And let’s be real, kids also changed every single friendship for me.
Some friends understood (and still understand) and some friends distanced themselves from me. I knew it would happen. Does it hurt? Hell yeah. However, Harmony and Piper are my absolute best friends on this planet…I’ll take them over anyone, any day.
After all of the heartache I’ve had with friends, I found a light. Awhile back I met and started talking to a coworker of Jeremy’s (boyfriend) and we really seemed to get along well. Her bubbly and cute personality complimented my fairly reserved one. She also always understood that I can’t always call/text and meet people at random times due to having 2 kids.
I always thought of her as a friend, and we’ve always talked about hanging out more but life tends to get in the way.
We were texting back and forth about concerts coming to our city and I expressed that I wanted to go, but didn’t know if I could due to money, time and such.
Well, a few days ago she called me and told me that she had a ticket for me to go to one of the shows with her in May! I couldn’t really even find the words to express how excited I was, and I probably sounded a bit unenthused. But the truth is, as soon as I got off the phone with her I called my mom and made sure she could watch the girls for me and cleared me calender that day.
And then I sat down and cried.
…and I’m tearing up again trying to type this out. Honestly, she probably doesn’t even realize how much that simple of a gesture means to me on every single level. It made me feel loved and like I was worthy of what I feel will be a truly wonderful friendship. To feel that happy after so much heartache with friends is a feeling that’s so endearing. It’s not about gifts or anything, so don’t get that impression, please. It’s more about people keeping you in mind. Being in someone’s thoughts. Because many times we may not care what others think about us, but it’s nice at times to know that others do indeed think about us fondly.
Sometimes the life of a mom is hard in terms of adult friendships. Because as much as I love my kids and boyfriend, it’s nice to have a few people outside of that to vent and talk to. It’s also hard at my age to find people that want to be my friend without wanting to go out and drink constantly. Not that I look down on anyone that goes out for drinks, it’s just not always my thing. I like to go to shows and be outside enjoying nature with people. I like when people just come over and watch movies with me and raid my fridge. I’m the person to come to when you want to chill on the couch and not saying anything. I actually like silence and just being with people, but not a lot of people seem to be comfortable with that.
If you’re reading this, kind and beautiful friend, please know that I really appreciate you in every single way. I love that you understand that I can’t text all the time, and sometimes I need to cancel things because being a mom is tough and time constraining. Thank you for always being kind and so bubbly. You always make me feel like you are genuinely happy to see me, and that makes me so happy, even if I can’t properly express it outwardly.
Most of all, thank you for being a friend. (I feel like this is part of a song, oops)
Thank you for showing me that I am worthy of great friendships.
I know I’m not perfect, and I realize that I have made my fair share of mistakes with friends in the past. I want to change that and I want to start “fresh” in a sense and have a friend that doesn’t know that part of my past.
The world needs more friends like you.
As always, thank you for stopping by and reading this.
Oh, and I do love making new friends, so if you want to talk/connect with me…please do! You can through social media, email, or even by text if we’ve talked on here or other places often.
I’m trying to get out of my shell more and talk to more people. Blogging has helped me with that exponentially. I find myself actually saying things to others first way more often and trying to hold a conversation without wanting to hide in a corner. So, I have so many of you that follow me and comment to thank for that.