Dear Harmony

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Dear Harmony,

Today is your third birthday, and so much has changed in those three years. We’ve moved and made hard decisions as a family, we even welcomed your baby sister to the family just a little over a year ago. Through all of that, my love for you has remained so strong and constant. Even when I feel like the ground beneath me is crumbling, I have a bit of consistency in the bond we’ve created over the past three years.

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I know the past year has been tough on you at times. I know that you don’t always understand that I have to give your sister lots of attention, and I’m sure that at times you feel left out. However, you’re the first person that I fell head over heels in love with at first sight. You’re the first person to make me forget to breathe, because all I could do was stare at how absolutely perfect you were from the moment I laid eyes on you. You’re the first absolute and truest love of my life. I’m not saying that I love you or Piper any more than the other, but there is something incredibly special about our bond…because it was just us for almost two years.

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When I first looked at you, I saw your father. I could see that you had his eyes. Then, I saw my granny. I know I wasn’t the only one that saw that because I could tell by the look on my dad’s face when he met you that he saw it as well. I could see her hair line, but over time I see so much of her personality in you. Your love for animals and art. The unique and infectious laugh that you have. The one little dimple on your cheek that my dad also has. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her and wish she could meet you, because I know she would love you so so much. You’re named after my two of my favorite women, my mom and my granny. I think my granny would be so tickled to learn that you’re a left handed animal lover that can already color in the lines.

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You had a rough start in this world. You were forced to come Earth side before you wanted because our lives were at risk. You struggled with jaundice, weight gain, and a tongue tie. My first time with a newborn wasn’t exactly sunshine and daisies at all times, but we somehow got through it together. Looking back, those rough times don’t even matter. That season was rough for me, but it was so so short. I would give anything to go back and hold in my arms and rock you for hours straight. I would give anything to just kiss your newborn head once more. I had so many people tell me that I held you too much. That I was spoiling you. I never listened to them, and I’m so glad that I didn’t. Even though I constantly held you, I still feel like I could’ve held you more. I still feel like I should’ve kissed your face a thousand times while you slept in my arms. There is no season in life as painfully short as that of a dependent baby. Now you’re rising into the season of growing independence, and it breaks my heart to watch your baby tendencies fade away.

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Now when I look at you I see a gorgeous preschooler. I see little curls bounce on top of your shoulders as you chase the husky around. I hear the adorable giggle you make when you’re playing with your sister. From the day we brought Piper home, you’ve been the best big sister. I’ve loved watching you help out when you can. I know that Piper adores you as well, and I hope that you all have the strongest bond that sisters can have growing up. I love to watch you try to help me change Piper’s diaper, or watch you hand her fruit or a toy. One day I’ll show you all the pictures I have of you nursing your own baby doll while I nursed Piper.

You have such a loving personality.

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You’re not the most vocal of kids, but your comprehensive skills have blown me away for a few years now. At this point, we kind of have a system, and I can decipher what you’re saying, even if you can’t come right out and say what you’re thinking. While sitting at the dinner table, you colored inside the lines like it was something you always knew how to do. You’re always surprising me with how much you already know.

You weren’t planned to come at the moment you did in my life. Many people do things in a certain order, and you came in a time in my life when things felt totally out of order. I wouldn’t change the timing for anything. You’ve given me a reason to wake up everyday. A reason to better myself. A reason to laugh, even when laughing is the furthest thing on my mind. I would be a liar if I said that there were a few days where you were the only thing keeping me on this Earth. Days where my mind was blurry, but my love for you was crystal clear.

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I’ve never met a human being more empathetic as you are so young. It’s as if you have a sensor, and you know exactly when I need an extra snuggle. You know when you to crawl in my lap and grab my face for a huge kiss. We can sit in the floor silently together playing with blocks, and it’s honestly the most soothing thing. I know that I haven’t always been great at hiding my meltdowns from you. I always fear that I’m going to frighten you, but each and every time you’ve just grabbed my face and kissed me. No one has ever done that for me. You have been my saving grace ways that you’ll never know, and you’re more compassionate and empathetic than most adults I know. You’ve seen me at my absolute worst, and I apologize for that, but each time you’ve held my face and told me that you loved me. In that moment, you were all I needed.

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People constantly tell me that you’re “too shy.” That I keep you too sheltered, and I need to make you interact with others. What they don’t see is you observing them, you watching them. You waiting to let your guard down because you’re the type of person that will either not like someone or pour your heart and soul into them. Physically, when I look at you I see your father. His soft brown eyes that pulled me in from the very beginning. I see so much of myself in your personality though. The sensitive little girl with a huge heart that not many people were willing to get to know. However, once they do they realize we’re capable of loving completely with our hearts and souls. You just gotta get past our love for creepy things and loud music.

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If you’re wondering, I will always yearn for the days when you were an infant. However, I’m looking forward to watching you learn and grow. I love listening to you create sentences now and repeat everything (okay, maybe not so much that…). I feel like everyday you wake up and something about your appearance has changed. Your chubby cheeks are not so chubby anymore, and now you’re a thin little kid. I can’t believe how gorgeous you are now. I can’t believe that someone so incredibly flawless came from someone as flawed as myself.

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Happy birthday, Harmony.

I hope we spend the entire day listening to old records and dancing in the living room.

Love,

Mom

Favorites Friday

Apparently, this is the week of favorites posts on my blog.
I love talking about my favorite things. Because, well, they’re my favorites, and by default make me feel happy.

So, welcome to this week’s Favorites Friday post! As usual, there will be some beauty and some non beauty related things.
Comment with some of your favorite things for the week as well!

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1. Favorite Mom Moment: I can’t help but share two photos of this sweet sister moment. Most mornings I wake up and nurse Piper and we play for a bit before Harmony wakes up, but Sunday morning Harmony woke up early and wanted to come and snuggle with us. I absolutely adore and cherish moments like these. Harmony and Piper have a very healthy and loving relationship. I know that some may be thinking “for now” but if I could explain it, I would, but there’s something different there. There’s a different level of adoration that truly touches my soul when I watch them interact. I only had brothers, so maybe that’s my own envy coming out a bit. I always wanted a sister, and I’m happy that they have each other.

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2. Favorite Find: I went thrifting for a bit with the girls and we ended up finding a few goodies! I love thrift stores because I like to use plates and glass things as props for makeup and lifestyle photos. However, I was rummaging through the stuffed animal bin looking for Hello Kitty dolls (as usual) and found a Princess Diana bear…with tags! She was so pretty, I had to have her. I also snagged some really cheap film for my Nikon and a camera lens coffee mug for $1. Did anyone else collect beanie babies growing up?

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3. On my Nails: I recently tried this nail polish brand after seeing yougwildandpolished (look her up on youtube. I love her) raving about this over and over, and I adore them! They’re super affordable at $3 each, and there are so many colors! That and I love the packaging. I’m a sucker for polka dots. The grey color (mauvie night) is probably my favorite so far. It’s perfect. The fast drying top coat drops are also incredible and actually work! I put a drop on each finger and it spares me the grief of having to stand and wave my hands around in an attempt to dry my nails faster. #momproblems

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4. Other favorite find: If it isn’t apparent by now, I collect coffee mugs. I really really wanted the heart mug from Starbucks, but this one is quite cute as well. I’m still searching for the other cute Starbucks mugs though. *Liam Neeson voice* I will find them, and I will buy them.

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5. Makeup Favorites: For blush, I’ve been wearing the City Color Cosmetics baked blush in “rose” literally everyday applied with my Luxie angled brush. It just gives me a very Snow White flushed cheek against my pale skin with a touch of highlight. Because I’m all about that glow. I went on another Kmart clearance trip, and snagged a Physicians Formula Nude Wear highlighter for $3! It’s a super pretty highlight. Physicians Formula highlighters have never let me down. On my lips has been “Rose Femme” by Milani. It’s a super pretty rosey-brown shade. I’ve seen swatches of it compared next to Mac’s “Twig” but I don’t own it so I wouldn’t know. I just know it’s an amazing shade! Can you tell I’ve been all about roses this week? I’m ready for Spring.

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6. Favorite Pet Moment: I went to Trader Joe’s and left the big bags in our floor, and I found Sailor in one playing peek-a-cat with herself. I haven’t had the heart to throw the bag away because she loves it so much.

As usual, thank you for reading, and I hope you are all having lovely days!
Happy Friday, beauties.

Favorites Friday

Second week of Favorites Friday! A chance for me to reflect on my week, and for anyone reading to catch a glimpse of my everyday life. This week was a bit more exciting than most other weeks. We (me and both daughters) just got over colds, so we’ve all had a bit of cabin fever.

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1. Have you ever seen a more adorable face? Neither have I. My family had a nice dinner together and I snuck a picture in of Piper. It’s kinda blurry, but I love it all the same. Piper turned 7 months old this week, and has started to get into the crawling position. I think that because she’s so chunky it’s frustrating to be on her belly for too long. I don’t blame her. I feel her on that level.

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2. My nephew turned 7 last week, and his party was at a bowling alley. I had a blast watching all the kids bowl and watching Harmony (oldest) attempt to bowl. She’s so painfully shy, but she warmed up to the environment eventually and danced her little heart out to AC/DC and Def Leppard songs. Have I expressed lately how proud Harmony makes me with her love for classic rock? Piper basically went bowling for boobs the entire time (breastfeeding joke) and eventually fell asleep after giggling and smiling at everyone for hours. It’s so funny to see how different their personalities are. Harmony gives the world the stink eye while Piper has yet to meet a stranger.

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3. I took the girls on an impromptu bargain and thrift hunt on wednesday. I scored some 50 cent goodies from the Essence section at Ulta, and the Mario Badescu spray everyone talks about. I paid full price for that, but whatever. We then went to Goodwill and I found some ADORABLE silhouette frames, coffee mugs, and a few vintage cardigans. Then I ventured to the coffee shop next door called Spero (pronounced like sparrow) and noticed they may be the cutest coffee shop ever. I tried their toasted marshmallow latte and it was delicious. Very smooth and actually tasted like marshmallows. Yum-tastic.

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4. One more picture with Piper for good measure. I mean, look at that smile? I have the cutest kids.