Favorites Friday

My favorites this week may be a bit boring, but my week has been fairly boring. My city had a pretty intense (for us…it’s the south, we’re not prepared for ice and snow) winter storm come through and I’ve been literally iced in most of the week. Which coincidentally means I was in my pajamas most of the week, oops. However, I did have some nice moments that I would love to share, mostly of my daughters.

I hope that you all enjoy these posts, and if this is your first time visiting my blog, make sure to stick around and follow me if you want to!

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1. I suppose I can start off with what I received from Jeremy for Valentine’s Day. He picked me up some pretty flowers and my Melt Cosmetics Dark Matter stack was also a gift from him. He’s pretty swell, I may keep him around for a bit. The Pixi Dust was actually something I purchased on clearance! I love Pixi, so I’m excited to try those out and unlock their shimmery goodness.

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2. This is an older picture, but it still applies for this week since I was pretty much living in warm socks and jammies all week. That book is actually wonderful, and if you love magic and witches please read it! Those socks are also incredibly warm and so tall. I typically have trouble finding nice thigh high socks that work out for me since I do have thicker thighs (thanks, soccer). However, these stay up and were very affordable! Check out sockdreams.com ๐Ÿ™‚

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3. Ah, the Knoxville Icemaggedon 2015. I wish I could say all that pretty snow was powder, but it wasn’t. So, we ended up not playing in it. Maryna enjoyed herself though. She looked so natural and happy sitting in the cold wind. Must be nice to have a built in fur coat with a heater.

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4. Can we just talk about how much older my 2 year old looks in these photos? We went out for a bit to get some fresh air since the roads cleared up, and I put a scarf on Harmony since it was bitterly cold. I didn’t expect it to take her from toddler to teenager in 3.5 seconds. And yes, she is left handed! We ended up going out for sushi and doing a bit of shopping and browsing around, and it was nice. Much needed fresh air.

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5. Piper was my cuddle and laundry buddy all week. She kept me warm and played with her toes while I tried to catch up on laundry. Is is just me, or do tiny humans have an obscene amount of laundry? I feel like no matter how much I wash, there’s always a mountain of laundry somewhere else that also needs to be washed. Phew.

What were some of your favorite things for the week?

Favorites Friday

It’s time to round up my favorites for the week again! A few beauty and non beauty related things this week ๐Ÿ™‚

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1. Jeremy (da boyfriend) and I went on a very nice date last week with *gasps* no kids. We ended up at our favorite Italian restaurant and had a glass of wine and had some really nice conversations. He then took me out shopping for a bit (a man after my own heart) and treated me to some new perfume. It was a really romantic and nice evening. Honestly, I really needed a night alone with him, even if for just a few hours, to just kind of “reset” in a sense.

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2. Most worn Jewelry Piece- This week I have been wearing my “Madeline” ring from shophellkitten’s etsy shop. I love this ring so much. There’s such a classic and vintage feel to it, and it was very affordable. Please look her shop up if you haven’t, she sells some beautiful pieces! I think there’s a promo code you can use right now as well ๐Ÿ™‚

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3. I also spent some much needed time out with both of my favorite little ladies, Piper and Harmony. We had a warmer “Spring” type of day here, so I took them both out to lunch and to do a bit of shopping. We had a blast. I spend every day with them at home, but sometimes I feel that we all need to get a bit dressed up and go out for a bit. I always end up having so many people approach me to tell me how beautiful and sweet they both are. I mean, look at them. They’re gorgeous.

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4. Favorite lip combo- Nyx intense butter gloss in “toasted marshmallow.” I won’t get into this gloss too much because I do have a review of it coming soon, but it’s amazeballs. I loooooove this color. I may end up buying a second one to keep in my purse at all times.

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5. Favorite Find- During my shopping trip with Piper and Harmony, I decided to meander around Marshall’s just to see what was on clearance and such. Well, I ended up finding a Kat Von D eyeshadow palette…the one I was looking for awhile back! And for $10!! I also picked up an everlasting lipstick in “Backstage Bambi” for $7. Totally out of my comfort zone, but I will still try it out. I also went to Ulta because I needed a new powder, so I’m giving the Laura Geller balance and brightening powder a chance. I will let you all know my thoughts on it soon!

Well, these are a few of my favorite things for the week, what were some of yours?

Favorites Friday

Second week of Favorites Friday! A chance for me to reflect on my week, and for anyone reading to catch a glimpse of my everyday life. This week was a bit more exciting than most other weeks. We (me and both daughters) just got over colds, so we’ve all had a bit of cabin fever.

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1. Have you ever seen a more adorable face? Neither have I. My family had a nice dinner together and I snuck a picture in of Piper. It’s kinda blurry, but I love it all the same. Piper turned 7 months old this week, and has started to get into the crawling position. I think that because she’s so chunky it’s frustrating to be on her belly for too long. I don’t blame her. I feel her on that level.

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2. My nephew turned 7 last week, and his party was at a bowling alley. I had a blast watching all the kids bowl and watching Harmony (oldest) attempt to bowl. She’s so painfully shy, but she warmed up to the environment eventually and danced her little heart out to AC/DC and Def Leppard songs. Have I expressed lately how proud Harmony makes me with her love for classic rock? Piper basically went bowling for boobs the entire time (breastfeeding joke) and eventually fell asleep after giggling and smiling at everyone for hours. It’s so funny to see how different their personalities are. Harmony gives the world the stink eye while Piper has yet to meet a stranger.

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3. I took the girls on an impromptu bargain and thrift hunt on wednesday. I scored some 50 cent goodies from the Essence section at Ulta, and the Mario Badescu spray everyone talks about. I paid full price for that, but whatever. We then went to Goodwill and I found some ADORABLE silhouette frames, coffee mugs, and a few vintage cardigans. Then I ventured to the coffee shop next door called Spero (pronounced like sparrow) and noticed they may be the cutest coffee shop ever. I tried their toasted marshmallow latte and it was delicious. Very smooth and actually tasted like marshmallows. Yum-tastic.

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4. One more picture with Piper for good measure. I mean, look at that smile? I have the cutest kids.

Favorites Friday

Okay, so I really want to start doing more lifestyle posts. I know that the majority of my blog posts are makeup and reviews, but my life does not revolve around makeup. Nope.

My life revolves around the happiness of my two daughters, and that’s fine by me.
So, I decided to start trying to do a “favorites friday” post every week where I talk about my favorite moments, or maybe even some random favorite things I got in the mail or discovered.

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1. I was in the living room with both girls and looked down and noticed Piper had a book turned to the right page at the right moment. I have no idea why I find this so cute, it just is. She is my mushy little sweet pea though.

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2. Harmony put on my favorite boots and they went all the way up her legs haha. I have multiple pictures of me as a toddler wearing my dad’s shoes, so I find pictures like these adorable and slightly nostalgic in a way.

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3. Piper went to sleep early one night, so me, Jeremy, and Harmony decided to make tissue crafts. Mine is the butterfly, Jeremy’s is the pony, and Harmony’s is the car. I love how artsy and creative Harmony already is. She loves to learn new things and create. She has such a unique and innovative way of thinking, which is hard for me to put into words. She can take almost anything and take it apart and create something new with it, and she’s only 2 years old. I have a feeling she’s going to be my little artist.

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4. Ordered this ring from worship13.storenvy.com and I absolutely adore it. I’ve worn it everyday. If you’re into Chuck Hodi artwork and horror in general, check her store out. She has some very high quality and unique pieces that are affordable.

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5. Sometimes having 2 kids spaces so close together is extremely chaotic. I feel like all I do is change diapers and cut up food some days. However, moments like these where they’re both playing together silently and nicely remind me that it’s more than worth the chaos. Harmony is very willing to help out when she can with Piper, and is head over heels in love with her. She wakes up and finds her just so she can give her a kiss and say, “Awww baby sissy.” I didn’t have a sister growing up, so I can’t say I know how strong the bond is there, but I can tell from watching Harmony and Piper their bond is already unbreakable. I love watching them grow and play together.

The TMI Tag

I saw this on another page and I think it’s a cute tag. I think everything’s cute though and that’s not a problem. Anyway, here’s my answers to the questions.

1. What are you wearing? Fuzzy leopard pajama pants and a baggy black sweater. My hair is in a bun and I look like the ideal image of a lazy mom.

2. Ever been in love? Why yes I have.

3. Ever had a terrible breakup? Not really. Only because I’ve never been in many serious relationships.

4. How tall are you? 5’3″

5. How much do you weigh? I weigh enough. ๐Ÿ˜› Honestly, I wouldn’t mind answering this if I carried weight normally. I look way lighter than the number on the scale if that makes sense at all. So, I tend to keep my weight to myself and not worry too much about numbers.

6. Any tattoos? Yep. I have a half sleeve on my left arm, an anchor on my wrist, another smaller tattoo on my right arm and a small tattoo on my left shoulder. I plan on getting more, potentially this year. The plan is to have 2 arms sleeves and start on my thigh pieces soon.

7. Any piercings? Yes. I have both my nostrils pierced and my septum, and 2 holes in both my ears. Debating on adding either a medusa piercing or re-piercing my lip sometime in the near future.

8. OTP? Okay, I had to look up what this means. I’m not into fandoms.

9. Favorite show? House, True Blood, Dexter, and currently Vikings

10. Favorite bands? Pink Floyd, The Black Dahlia Murder, Slayer, and I will forever be a Misfits fan.

11. Something you miss? My old apartment. We’re currently living in a tiny ass house to save money to pay off debt and have a clean slate for our dream home and it gets cramped some days. I’m a cuddly and affectionate person, but I wish I had my own room to craft and create and get away from everyone sometimes.

12. Favorite song? Well, I can’t really think of any right now. My favorite album for the past few weeks has been “Pain is Beauty” by Chelsea Wolfe though.

13. How old are you? 25.

14. Zodiac sign? Scorpio

15. Quality you look for in a partner? Kindness, the ability to listen and hold a conversation with me. Being open minded and willing to accept the world is a huge place filled with many different kinds of people. I like humor in partners, but I don’t like people that find humor in sexism and racism and that tends to disqualify a lot of people.

16. Favorite quote? Shit, this one is hard for me because I love so many quotes. Here’s one of my favorites though:
โ€œI can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.โ€ -Sylvia Plath

17. Favorite actor? I don’t really know…?

18. Favorite color? Black. Okay, that’s not a color technically. I guess it would have to be purple. I actually adore all shades of purple.

19. Loud or soft music? If you saw my answer for favorite bands you can probably guess I love loud music ๐Ÿ™‚

20. Where do you go when youโ€™re sad? I tend to knit or paint alone when I’m sad. It distracts me enough to not really feel much of anything.

21. How long does it take you to shower? 5-7 minutes. I’ve perfected the art of quick, yet efficient showers after having 2 kids.

22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? It depends on what I’m doing, but anywhere between 30 mins-1 hour.

23. Ever been in a physical fight? No. I tend to stay away from people in general.

24. Turn on? Long conversations about anything and everything and listening to music with me.

25. Turn off? arrogance, racism, sexism, the use of the word “sapiosexual” and condescending individuals in general.

26. The reason I joined [WordPress]? I think I originally created my blog to post about my pregnancy and birth experiences and people started asking for beauty advice. I evolved.

27. Fears? Burning alive and being in a situation where I can’t save one or both of my kids.

28. Last thing that made you cry? Feeling overwhelmed because me and both kids are very sick.

29. Last time you said you loved someone? Just a few hours ago I told Jeremy I loved him before we went to bed.

30. Meaning behind your username? After my kids.
Piper Luna Marie
Harmony Elaine Faye
So, I’m technically “Moon Fairy Beauty”

31. Last book you read? Finally finished the second book of the Miss Peregrine’s School for Peculiar Children series. Very very good, by the way.

32. The book youโ€™re currently reading? A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness

33. Last show you watched? Jeremy has been on a Friends kick which by default means I’m watching it too…

34. Last person you talked to? I suppose that would be my boyfriend.

35. The relationship between you and the last person you texted? She’s my momma.

36. Favorite food? Cheesecake and burritos. I am now great at not indulging in cheesecake often, but I am a sucker for a great burrito.

37. Place you want to visit? Scotland, and I eventually want to go back to France and Hungary to explore a bit more.

38. Last place you were? I went to my parents house on Sunday and that’s been about it since I’m sick.

39. Do you have a crush? I’m not in middle school anymore?

40. Last time you kissed someone? Today

41. Last time you were insulted? It’s nearly impossible to insult me. I’ve been called “fat,” I’ve been slut shamed etc and none of it really hurts me personally. I end up feeling sorry for the people throwing the insults.

42. Favorite flavor of sweet? Watermelon and blueberry. I went through a phase where I was eating sour patch watermelons every time I went to Target.

43. What instruments do you play? I play some guitar. Still learning.

44. Favorite piece of jewelery? My engagement ring. It used to be my granny’s (she’s passed) and it means so much to me. Way more than what a ring from a store could ever mean for me.

45. Last sport you played? I played soccer in high school. I still like to play tennis here and there when there’s time.

46. Last song you sang? Probably a song from some kids show.

47. Favorite chat up line? …wut?

48. Have you ever used it? ….wut?

49. Last time you hung out with anyone? I hang out with my kids everyday ๐Ÿ™‚ no but seriously I make sure to “hang out” with Jeremy at least once a week, even if it’s for just a few hours.

50. Who should answer these questions next? Everyone!

Goals for 2015

As the year 2014 draws to a close, I will admit that I am not a “resolutions” type of person. I know that sounds cliche, but I like to set small goals for myself throughout the year instead of one big thing. So, I wanted to share a few of my goals for the year 2015, and I would love to hear some of yours if you have any.

1. Somehow plan a wonderful birthday party for both of my daughters…at the same time. Jeremy and I are not so great at planning conception and now we have one daughter born on June 20 and the other on June 28th. I’m already scared.

2. Continue to expand my blog and youtube channel. I know that sometimes bloggers will have one or the other, but I really enjoy having both. I love typing and taking pictures just as much as I do sitting in front of a camera and recording a video.

3. I would love to do collaborations and swaps with people in the year 2015. I have some nifty ideas, but I have never known how to go about asking “hey, wanna collab?” because I still view myself as a small time blogger.
With that being said, if you would like to collaborate with me for a makeup look or be my pen pal (I promise to include the finest toddler artistry and cute presents) then please let me know.

4. I need to try and get a grip on my postpartum depression and anxiety. It’s not something I talk about often, but I’ve struggled with depression since my teens, but for some reason I can’t get a grip on some things after having Piper. I’m not blaming her at all, there’s just something up and it may be time for me to finally admit that this isn’t something I can handle alone any longer.

5. And for the cliche goal, I would like to lose 10 more lbs. In my defense, I did have a baby 6 months ago. I’ve been holding on to those last few lbs for dear life though, and they need to move along. I’ve never been very thin nor “plus size” (hate that term, another day another rant) and I like it that way, honestly. I like being in the bland average range, despite how hard it is to find clothing that fits properly.

Those are a few of my goals for the year 2015, what are some of yours?

Not a Beauty Post

I know that I mostly post about beauty and makeup, but it’s not my life. I love makeup, and it’s a passion and hobby for me, but my heart is with my kids. So, I wanted to take a few moments and talk about them since I haven’t done so on this blog since my post about Piper’s birth.

Harmony turned 2 back in June, and Piper is now 4 months old. This is said so often, but time passes so quickly when you’re watching little ones grow. Harmony is so loving and so compassionate towards animals and babies. It’s almost like watching the stories my mom told me about myself when I was her age. She’s so gentle, and yet not so much. Her laugh is so infectious and I haven’t heard a laugh that can fill a room as quickly as hers does since my granny was alive. I got chills typing that out, it’s very hard to explain. It’s a laugh that can fill and brighten any room, and can melt the ice off of the coldest of any heart.

Piper is also a dream. The happiest baby I have ever met, and I am not exaggerating. Harmony is happy, but when she was Piper’s age she was so wary around people (still is for the most part) and did not want to interact with many people outside of close family members. Piper want to smile and interact with everyone. Earlier today we went to my Nana’s and she let everyone just pass her around and talk to her. She soaked up all of the attention and giggled at everyone. Such a ham.

They’re both major love bugs, and I am lucky in that sense. I cherish these days of snuggling and being around them. When Piper is not snuggled up with me Harmony usually is. I could go on for days about them and how much I love and adore them, but I won’t. I just wanted to share some photos from today at the park. It was such a beautiful day, and I needed the time at the park with the girls and Jeremy. We’ve had a pretty rough couple of weeks, and it was refreshing to just let everything go for a few and just enjoy our daughters without worrying about the million other things we are currently worried about.

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The oldest, Harmony. I loved her outfit today. It suits her personality well.

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The youngest, Piper. I love the one where her mouth is open…doesn’t she look like she’s been caught off guard in the most adorable way possible?

Trendy Thursday: Purple

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Fall is a time of renewal for me, and also a time when I feel the most creative. So, I want to test out a new idea which is Trendy Thursday. A blog every Thursday dedicated to either a color or fashion trend, sometimes both. Please feel free to read this and let me know if you enjoy the post and this idea. Also, I need suggestions on what color or trend to do next.

Okay, I have been feeling this purple trend lately. The violet and lavender thing started in the spring and summer, and now that fall is rolling in I have seen more of the berry and vampy purples popping up in places and in new makeup lines. I love it! Purple used to be a color that intimidated me, but now that I have tried it out I like it. What I love about purple in general is that it is so flattering on all skin tones. I feel that everyone can pull purple clothing and lipstick off no problem.

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On my lips is LA Girl’s glazed lip paint in “Seduce.” I love this color. I feel that it is the perfect berry shade for early fall. I have mentioned these lip paints in a prior post, and I still love them! The application can be a bit messy for the darker colors, but my Eco Tools lip brush helps me out with that. I paired this lipstick off with a matte neutral eye using my Too Faced Natural Eyes palette (review to come) and Red Cherry lashes in #605. Because I wanted more focus on my lips, I lightly contoured my cheeks with Nyx blush in Taupe and lightly dusted Nyx’s blush in Dusty Rose on my cheeks.

My purple cat cardigan is actually from Target, and it is from their fall 2014 line! I love this cardigan. I got it on sale for $14 a few weeks ago and it is form fitting and so so comfortable.

I also wanted to include in the post a few more swatches, including a swatch on the skin of the color I am wearing on my lips.

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Swatches going from bottom swatch to top (all of these are budget friendly):

Nyx soft matte lip cream in Transylvania- I absolutely adore this shade. It is a deep vampy matte purple, and it is so affordable. These lip creams also smell like vanilla cupcakes, so that’s a plus! I will say that the formula is a bit drying, so I typically put lip balm on beforehand and use a lip primer.

Nyx Devil’s Food Cake- I know, this is not really purple. It is a bit of a berry shade, and I wanted to include it because it will darken up lighter purple lipsticks if you’re wanting a glossy berry finish. I had bought so many of the butter glosses from Nyx before they sold out to Loreal. I really love them, and I am sad that I will not be repurchasing them after I use them all up. So, if you’re wondering why I am including Nyx in my posts again, that’s why. I’m currently trying to use up all of my lip products by them.

Nyx butter gloss in Raspberry Tart- if you’re wanting a kind of sheer purple to just test the waters, try this shade. Butter glosses go on very smooth in general, and though they are not long lasting, they do not feel sticky on the lips at all. They also have a very pleasant scent to them.

LA Girl’s glazed lip paint in Seduce- this was the color I am wearing in my photos this post. I love this color. The application is flawless as well as the color. I now have 8 of these lip paints and I plan on getting a few more. They are only about $4 each and now come in 18 different colors! Obsessed.

LA Girl’s glazed lip paint in Tempt- This is another berry color, but it’s super deep. I love this color. Due to the formula of the lip paints though, the application of this color can be messy and patchy. I’m not a huge fan of the applicators themselves of this product, so I typically put a little product on the back of my hand and apply it with a lip brush.

Just to add a bit of myself and my everyday life into the post, here’s a picture of me and both my daughters, Piper (3 months) and Harmony (2 years). This picture captures them both pretty well. Harmony is the light hearted goofy one and Piper seems to be the more serious child, though she’s still a very happy baby. We played outside for a bit today and enjoyed the nice weather. I can’t wait until the local corn mazes start to open up. What are some of your favorite family fall activities?

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all of these opinions are my own, and this is not a sponsored post.
Posts to come:
How to Save Money on Makeup
First Impression: BH Cosmetics Foundation and Wet n Wild Mascaras
Fall Elf Haul: 50% Sale
On Kids and Makeup
For more pictures of my kids and makeup: Instagram- @mommawolf__

If any of the above posts interest you, please subscribe to my blog! I am really hoping to have enough followers soon to have a giveaway on my instagram! Thank you for stopping by!

No Love for Boys that Wear Glitter

Today, I had the absolute joy of stumbling upon a mom and a story about her 4 year old son, Chester. Chester lives a completely gender neutral lifestyle. Meaning, his parents allow him to wear jeans and tee shirts as well as dresses. He plays with what he wants, dolls or dinosaurs. As soon as I started reading this story, my heart felt so warm in this cold weather. His mom went on to talk about how his friends never say mean things to him (boys and girls) about his dresses, but you can probably guess the ones that always have negative things to say. That’s right, the parents. It’s sad to me that kids are born with the potential to love and accept, but some of them are eventually taught to hate and become intolerant because of their parents.

Gender roles are something that bother me now as a parent, especially since there is a 50% chance that our little womb monster is a boy (fingers crossed!). They bother me because no one says anything about the fact that our daughter, Harmony, loves trucks and heavy metal. No one has ever said a bad thing about her dirty converse and rockabilly shirts. However, I know if we have a boy and he takes on a love for dolls and glitter people will have negative things to say. He would face hateful parents and their words like “gay” and my absolute most hated word in the world…”faggot.” Typing that word actually makes my gag reflex react. It’s terrible that boys can’t love Cinderella and sports at the same time.

I’ve heard a million times that boys are easier to raise than girls, and now that I think about it boys have it pretty freakin’ tough.

I want to raise my children in a gender neutral environment. I want them to practice self expression. Whether it’s football, music, ballet, tap…I just want them to be happy. That should be the goal of any parent, right? When I found out I was pregnant with Harmony I told myself I would love my children, all of them, unconditionally no matter what. If this little bug is a boy and he wants to play with dolls and have a damn tea party, I will be his most enthusiastic guest. If he chooses dirt and football, I will always be there to clean him up.

In all honesty, what would I be teaching a son if I denied him dolls and dresses because they’re “for girls?” I would be teaching him that there is something wrong with girls. I would be teaching him that boys and girls are not equal in every single way. Worst of all, I would be denying him of something that could spark inspiration. I don’t deny Harmony the right to jeans and converse, and society would frown upon me if I did. So why does society still frown upon the boys that love glitter?

I do feel that society is becoming more accepting. There were definitely more encouraging words on this mom’s blog post than negative ones. However, I did see that so many people still have a long road ahead of them to get all of that negativity and judgement out of their hearts and systems.

It gave me a little hope that I am truly doing the right thing in regards to my parenting style. It may not be a popular style, but it’s one that I am going to fight for more people to look into. I have accepted that it may be too late for this country to see true acceptance inย  my generation…but it’s not too late for our kids. It’s not too late to teach our kids to love and accept each other. They mimic us. They idolize us, and many of us are still teaching hate. We are still teaching each our kids that boys and girls are not equal, and that bugs me so much. It actually hurts me. It hurts me that in many ways we still view boys and girls as unequal, and we give them separate activities.

I will not accept it though. I will never accept it. I will only accept what makes my children happy.

My possible son will be equal with my daughter. I’m not going to deny him one damn thing simply because of some stupid gender role.

I don’t care if he’s covered in dirt and glitter as long as he’s cleaned up for dinner.

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Your Tiny Hands

My daughter is over a year old now, and the love I have for her still overwhelms me every single day.

Those who say love at first sight doesn’t exist have never had a child. I wrote my daughter a letter when she turned one, and I feel like I should post it.

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My Dearest Harmony,

It’s been a year since I first laid eyes on you. It doesn’t feel that way. It feels like I’m dreaming, and I’ll wake up in the morning and you’ll be the sleepy newborn you were a year ago. I’ll carry you around on my chest and sing to you and kiss your bald head as you slumber away for most of the day. I remember the sleepless nights, the tears I cried because we struggled so hard at at nursing. How did I not see myself in you every time you tried and tried again? You were so persistent. You were determined not to let a small obstacle get in the way of anything, and because of that you helped me push forward as well.

I remember awing over your tiny little hands and feet. I remember holding them in my own hands and just counting them over and over. Those tiny hands of yours have had a tight grip around my heart since the first time I heard your heartbeat. I’ve fallen in love with you all over again so many times. Sometimes I would catch myself watching you sleep and watching the morning rays hit your innocently chubby cheeks. I would think about how a new day for me meant something completely different to you. You were still seeing much of the world for the very first time, and I had the honor of showing it to you. I look forward to showing you more and more of the world as the years pass.

I used to interact with you so much when your home was still in my womb. I remember sitting at work in the wee hours of the night and listening to whatever came across my iPod at the time. You loved music. You would kick and move around as if you were dancing in your own little way. You still love music, and even a year later I know when you recognize a song because you stand so still as if you’re trying to remember something, but just can’t put your finger on it. I’ll always remember it clearly for you, even when your infant memories begin to pass into the shadows. Your infant days are coming to an end, and even though you will not remember them in a few years, they will still be vividly branded in my own mind and heart.

Now the little girl that stands before me is a wandering little toddler. Your baby chunk is starting to slim down, you’re walking more and more as each day passes. You’re slowly starting to trust people. You used to cry when someone tried to talk to you, but now you’re starting to see that they’re just trying to make you smile. I’ve never met a person who doesn’t love you. I know that every time I see the little dimples in your cheeks my heart stops, so I can only imagine what effect it has on total strangers.

You have a smile that could make the darkest human being feel a little love. That smile has brought me out of some of my own darkest moments. That smile is going to change the world one day.

Sometimes I try to imagine what my life would be like if you weren’t here, and I can’t. I can’t imagine a life without you. My life would mean nothing without you. You are my life, and my life began at the very moment I saw you.

You’ve changed me as a whole, and for that I can never show my gratitude. The only thing I can do is dedicate my life to you.

I know I may not always be the best mother. I know that sometimes I may seem distant, and that’s an ongoing battle that I am continuously working on. Please know that I love you. Please know that I love you more than my own life. I value you over myself, tiny hands and all. You’re my best friend, and sometimes I can’t understand how someone as perfect as you can love someone as flawed as myself. Your love and sweet cuddles flatter me in the best way possible. I love every single bit of you unconditionally, from your little giggle to your tiny hands.

This has been the best year of my entire life, and I know that it will only get better from here.

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Love,

Your Mother

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