Things I Actually Like About Winter

 

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I’ve seen quite a few lifestyle posts lately about Wintery things people enjoy, and I felt like I should make one myself. I know I said I’m not very festive, and I’m not, but there’s still a few things I love about darker and colder weather. Other than the fact that I can wear my usual shades of lipstick without everyone staring at me weirdly.

So, here’s a rare lifestyle type post from me. I do hope to do more of these next year, so let me know if you all enjoyed it!

1. I love snuggles.

My family lives in a very small and kind of old house. It doesn’t have a central heating unit, so we rely on one window heater and other heaters we put around the house as we need them. With that being said, electricity companies love the charge out the butthole for heat this time of year, so we try not to use it too much. What does that mean for us? Snuggles. All of the snuggles. I’m completely okay with that. One day my kids will not be okay with sitting on the couch with a giant blanket cuddled with their mom, so for now I am content.

2. I also love sweaters

Alright, so it’s almost officially Winter and Tennessee is still trying to decide if it’s Spring or Winter here (hello, sickness) but I still love pulling out all of my cardigans and chunky sweaters. I can go from goth to tacky mom in 2.5 seconds in the Winter. I give no bothers as long as I’m warm and comfortable.

3. Just give me all the coffee.

It’s dark by 5 pm now? Alright, well that means I need to drink at least 5 cups of hot coffee before then so I can trick my body into thinking it’s wired. I hate how tired I feel when it gets dark that early, but I don’t mind the excuse to indulge in my favorite hot beverage. I also love a nice hot chocolate though! With tons of marshmallows…that’s the only way to drink them, right?

4. Fuzzy Blankets.

Enough said. They’re fuzzy and warm. Electric blankets are nice as well.

5. Watching my Husky be happy.

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When it does snow here, my husky is so happy. It’s so adorable and endearing to watch. I’m not the biggest fan of snow because it makes me very anxious, but watching my dog frolic through it and dig her nose into it warms my cold heart up a bit. Okay, a lot. We all know I have a huge soft spot for that mischievous husky. It’s like watching a child play in the snow for the very first time every year. It never gets old.

6. All the family time.

Whether I’m spending time with my daughters or we’re visiting family, I love spending time with family. Winter can be a tough season for those that struggle with anxiety and depression, but surrounding yourself with people that love and support you is essential, in my opinion. I have to make myself do it at times, but I know it’s vital to my well being.

7. Not shaving

Alright, I’m totally about not shaving all year round if that’s your thing, but I love the extra warmth. That and no one really notices if you didn’t shave. Are my pits bushy under this giant sweater? I don’t care, I’m warm, dammit.

Well, those are seven things I actually enjoy about winter. I don’t enjoy it as much as Fall, but there are things I love about the cold weather. I do love rosy cheeks and cuddling with my kids. I will say that it doesn’t feel like winter yet in Tennessee. It’s supposed to be almost 80 degrees on Christmas, and I thought that was solely a Florida thing.

What are some of your favorite things about Winter? Let me know in the comments!

As always, thanks for reading, and I hope you’re all having wonderful days!

Here’s a few more pictures of my husky…because puppy. Awwww.

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Face of the Day: Coffee Date Makeup

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Hey lovelies,

It’s Thursday, so it’s time for me to talk about my face and things that I put on it! Today’s FOTD is going to be more neutral, but with a bit of glam to it. Because, I add glitter and glam to almost everything in my life. If you follow me on Snapchat or Twitter, you’ve probably already seen this look. I wore it to my cute little coffee date with da boyfriend last Friday. We’re trying to save money, so we took coupons into Krispy Kreme (no shame in our game) and bought apple fritters and coffee, and took a walk in the park. It was cute, and much needed. When I first met Jeremy, we went to parks often because we were both totally broke. We would just sit and talk, and sometimes not talk.

Anyway, this post is not about my date, it’s about the makeup I wore for the date. Because I was wearing a jean vest and Metallica shirt, I wanted to put some glitter on my eyes to kinda glam up the look a bit. Because I knew we would be outside, I didn’t do too much to my face.

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My base is relatively simple. I used my Hard Candy sheer envy primer and mixed my usual City Color tinted moisturizer and LA Girl Pro BB cream together (both in the shade fair) and applied it with my hands, and then cleaned up any excess product with a damp beauty blender.

For concealer I used the LA Girl concealer in “porcelain” and set my face with my Laura Geller balance and brightening powder in “porcelain” and set my under eyes with Ben Nye’s setting powder in Cameo. I find this base combination evens out the redness in my skin (thanks, Irish genes) while allowing my freckles to peak through, so it looks very natural.

I only bronzed my face a bit with the Tarte Park Ave Princess bronzer that I got in my Ipsy bag (also mentioned in my July Favorites) my blush is Milani’s “American Beauty Rose” from their limited edition blushes (that can be bought online right now on the Milani website!) and my highlight is Colourpop’s “Spoon.” Everything was set with Urban Decay’s all nighter spray, because I was going to the park. Melting makeup is not a cute look.

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My brows are my usual: Milani’s pomade in “dark brown” set with Nyx’s brow mascara in “black” and then I faked some hairs with my Ofra universal brown pencil in the front of my brows.

I primed my eyes with my Too Faced shadow insurance and then took “mourning” by Shiro Cosmetics in my crease as a transition shade. I then added “nymph” (a brick red also by Shiro) and “dirty” by My Pretty Zombie and just layered and blended to create a neat effect. I’ve really been loving using several shades in the crease.

I put Colourpop’s “Bae” on my lid…and now I don’t really know why since I just put a shit ton of glitter over it. I then sprayed my brush a bit and put on Lunatick Labs “Ghouls Gold” glitter on my lids. Because I’m dramatic and wanted more glitter, I added Nyx’s “platinum” roll on glitter to my lids by putting some on a brush and dabbing it on.

Liner is NYC’s black liquid liner. I’ve been using this liner constantly lately. I feel like I’ve finally figured out the brush, and the formula of this liner is stellar. It’s super black, and dries matte. It’s a new favorite of mine.

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Lashes are the same demi lashes that I got off ebay that I can’t stop using. I lined my water line with Wet n Wild’s “Mink brown” and blended it out with mourning, nymph, and dirty. I put dirty closest to my water line though to add a bit of dimension. Inner corner highlight is Colourpop’s “Swan”

My lips are lined with Nyx’s “Orchid” and topped with Lunatick Labs “Cinderhella” This shade is a beautiful deep berry color. I’m in love with it. I will say that the gold glitter and lipstick were sent to me, but I am in no way pressured to post about it or create a post. I’ve used a lot of things from Lunatick in the past, and I saw on Instagram that they were sending out little packages to a lot of people, no matter how many followers they had. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world, and I wish more companies were more worried about honest reviews than reaching out to only big bloggers and youtubers. And not for products or anything, but only because companies should want a variety of reviews for new products from several demographics. Just my opinion though.

Well, that was my coffee date night look! I hope you all enjoyed this look, and as always, thanks for reading if you made it this far! I know I can be pretty detailed in these posts. If there’s anything you’re wondering about, please feel free to ask!

Have a lovely day, beauties.

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Face of the Day: Purple + Graphic liner

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Hey loves,

It’s Thursday, which means it’s time for another weekly Face of the Day post! However, this week I actually filmed this look. I was feeling inspired and had a bit of free time (aka the babies were sleeping) so I sat down and played with makeup. I was feeling inspired by several things, the color purple and one of my favorite youtubers, ReeRee Phillips. If you’re not subscribed to her, she does very goth looks, but they are somehow artsy and wearable…or at  least wearable to me. There’s something enchanting about her makeup tutorials, so if you’re not subscribed to her, check her out. I also love that she uses classical music as the background for her videos…I can only handle that whistling song so many times. I’m just being honest.

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Product list:

Primer: Hard Candy sheer primer

Foundation: Nars Weightless Luminous foundation “Mont Blanc” + Loreal Magi Lumi in W-1

Concealer: Nyx HD lavender + LA Girl HD concealer in “porcelain”

Powders: physicians formula correcting powder + Laura Geller balance and brightening powder in “porcelain”

Brows: Milani pomade in “dark brown,” nyx brow mascara in “black” ofra universal brown pencil, and Nyx control freak setting gel.

primer: maybelline color tattoo. Use whatever primer you have, I’m honestly just trying to use this little shit up.

Shadows: Nyx SOS (transition) Sugarpill 2 am, the dark purple from the High Flying Colors Wet n Wild palette, and the white shade from the Hemporary Solutions palette.

Liners: NYC liquid liner, physicians formula eye booster, Nyx liquid noir, Nyx white liquid liner

Mascara: Maybelline Falsies

Lashes: a demi wispy type of lash that I got off of ebay

Contour: Lunatick Cosmetic Labs cool contour kit

Blush: BH Cosmetics “Lilac” blush

Highlight: Colourpop “Hippo”

Lips: Urban Decay priming pencil + OCC “Technopagan”

Everything is set with Urban Decay’s all nighter setting spray.

Frankenstein necklace is from Bella Morta Jewelry.

Video:

I did a voice over for this video, which it’s my second time doing a voice over so forgive me if it’s totally awkward. Please let me know what you think of the video, look, and quality! Also, please subscribe if you haven’t already, and sharing my videos and page helps me out a great deal as well. Thank you all so much for your constant support and for checking my face out today.

I hope you’re all having wonderful days!

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Swatch Video: J.Cat Beauty Liptitude 24/7 Lip StainsWIld

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Hey loves,

I uploaded a video to my Youtube channel last night! I think Friday may become my upload day? I dunno, still working on it. Anyway, I did a review + lip swatches of 5 out of 14 of the new J.Cat Beauty hydrating lip stains.

A few quick things:

These are highly pigmented.

They are semi matte.

The red ones do stain.

I love the heck out of this formula and the colors I swatched.

I bought all of these myself, except for the two that I got off Ipsy, but I also pay for that subscription every month.

The more I try from J.Cat Beauty, the more impressed I am. This formula is awesome, and until the August 1st you can get 25% off on these on their site.

Please watch my video and let me know what you think and if you like lip swatch videos!

Coming next week: Swatches of the Wet n Wild “High Flying Colors” palette

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Face of the Day: My “go to” Date Night Look

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Hey lovelies,

How is everyone? I’m sitting down and typing this out on a Tuesday, and it’s been a weird day. A mostly happy day with some weird things. I started my day off by getting pooped on and I broke my favorite jewelry holder on my foot and I bled everywhere. However, once my kids laid down for a nap I was able to sit down and plan out my look for this week. I also had a great selfie day. There’s just something about looking through pictures and thinking, “Damn, I look nice,” that can perk a lady right up. And yes, you’re allowed to think you look damn good sometimes…or everyday. Because you all look nice everyday.

Anyway, today’s look is going to be my “go to” date night look lately. I tried to put my Kat Von D palette down for once and use all single shadows and some new products that I want to talk about a bit more. My go-to style of makeup in general is usually a pretty crease, a light lid, cat eye and fun lipstick. I know this differs for everyone, but I’m a bit “all or nothing” when it comes to my makeup. So, on date nights I like to go all out and feel happy and confident. For me, that includes red lipstick and cat eyes.

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I also put on an outfit that I would probably wear on a night out (a dress) and curled my hair. Without further adieu, let’s get into the details.

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My base today is actually a wee bit different than normal. I haven’t used my Hard Candy primer in awhile, so I pulled it out for this look. I actually like this primer, and do find it helps my makeup to truly stick, even in the Summer. My foundation is Nyx’s Invincible foundation in “Fair” mixed with a bit of my City Color tinted moisturizer in “fair” to thin it out a bit. That’s my number one tip for full coverage foundations on dry skin…a tinted moisturizer or a bit of beauty oil will thin out a matte foundation a bit making it lay better on the skin. I find this doesn’t take away too much coverage, but my skin has also been relatively clear lately.

My concealer is my usual…La Girl’s pro concealer in “porcelain.” However, today I set my under eyes with the City Color HD setting powder that I got in my July Ipsy bag. My first impression is that I enjoy this powder. Loose powder annoys me a bit in the sense that it’s pretty messy, but I did find this powder to be finely milled and very silky feeling.

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For my contour I used the dark shade in the Elf contour kit. Blush is “Birthday Suit” by Colourpop, and highlight is “Smokin Whistles” also by Colourpop.

My brows are my usual as of late, which is the Milani brow pomade in “Dark Brown” and set with Nyx’s brow mascara in “Black”

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Okay, so for my eyes I primed with my Too Faced Shadow insurance. My transition shade is actually from a sample I received from Shiro Cosmetics called “Mourning.” It’s a lovely medium toned orangey-beige shade that is perfect for warmer toned looks because it’s not too orange. Don’t worry, I’ve ordered the full size. Then as a second transition shade I took “Dirty” by My Pretty Zombie Cosmetics (not pretty zombie cosmetics, it confused me at first too). Because I like to look like a big eyed doll at times, I did a rounded shape and took this pretty far in close to the bridge of my nose.

On my lid is actually a Colourpop shadow called “Acorn.” This came from their Spring collection, and I love it. It’s a pearlized cream color, so it gives dimension to this look without being shimmery. I applied this with my finger, which is how you get the most pigmentation with Colourpop shadows. However, concealer brushes work as well! The outer color is “A regular Bears Meeting” by Shiro Cosmetics.

Normally, I would use black liner for my wing. However, I’m still on the colored liner kick and I created a liner using Shiro Cosmetics’ “A War of Five Armies” shadow (see my method here) and I feel this really made the green in my eyes stand out. It’s a lovely dark burgundy shade. Lashes are the same ones that I talked about in my last video that you can watch here if interested. They’re just ebay lashes, but I love how wispy and romantic they look.

In my water liner I have Nyx’s jumbo eye pencil in “Milk.” Then I have “Mourning” blended out and “Dirty” closer to the lash line and slightly blended out. Mascara is Maybelline’s The Falsies. My inner corner highlight is super dramatic. You don’t have to be as dramatic as me. I used “Swan” from Colourpop. I love this as an inner corner highlight.

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For my lips, it’s just Kat Von D’s “Vampira.” I haven’t worn this liquid lipstick in a bit, and I forgot how much I truly adore this shade and formula. It applies evenly and lasts all day. It feels comfortable and applies like a dream. I definitely want to get my hands on quite a few of the new shades when my local Sephora has all of them. I set my entire face with Urban Decays All Nighter spray.

Funny story about my hair: if you follow me on twitter, you would have seen me mention that I did a wet set using foam rollers and said I looked like “a punk poodle.” I did. It was bad. I put my hair in a bun and the next day (today) my hair looked better, and I went over the weird parts with a curling iron. This was the result. From punk poodle to glorious curls.

My necklace is from Bella Morta Jewelry, and my dress was actually a clearance find from Marshall’s.

I hope you all enjoyed this look! Tell me about your go to looks, for dates or whenever else. What makes you feel sexy and sassy?

Have a good day, lovelies.

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Lip Monthly July 2015

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Hey beauties,

I’m here today to do another unbagging! I got my Lip Monthly bag in the mail on Monday, which was a pleasant surprise, because it was storming and gloomy. If you’re unfamiliar with Lip Monthly, they are a beauty subscription that sends out typically 4 full sized products meant for those that love lip products. Their subscription used to be $10 per month, but now they have upped the price to $13 a month. The price change does not affect those that were already signed up though. I’m guessing the price change happened because they do send out full sized products and because the bags have been getting nifty upgrades.

I will say that this subscription is still worth $13. It has improved substantially over the past few months. If you have been keeping up with my blog for awhile now, you’ll know that I have went back and forth regarding my feelings towards Lip Monthly. However, I wanted them to succeed and improve, and they have from what I have seen. It’s always promising to see companies constantly work to improve their services and products.

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Anyway, I receieved four full sized products this month. Three lip products, and the “makeup mix up” which is usually something non lip related. As always, I will list what the price is of each item and go over the total value of the bag!

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Lord and Berry Crayon “Fire” $19 Starting off with a high roller product, this month I got a Lord & Berry lip crayon. This crayon is pretty tiny considering it’s $19. However, the color is stunning! It truly reminds me of a fire red. I only swatched it a tiny bit, and it was really smooth. I’m pretty excited to try this, because you all know how I am about my reds.

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Milani Lip Intense in “Violet Addict” $6.49 I love Milani lip products! However, I already have this color. I actually reviewed this not too long ago,and if you’re interested in my thoughts click here. I love this shade and this formula. I did take a photo of the one I already have instead of opening the new one up though. I’m going to set it in my “giveaway” basket that is slowly collecting some pretty things! Be on the lookout!

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Harvey Prince Mini Roller in “Sincerely” $21 Okay, so I have gotten a fragrance from Harvey Prince before and it smelled like gardenias barfed all over me. I was not a fan. However, this one is better. I will say that Harvey Prince fragrances are strong. I don’t know if I can wear it with my allergies, but I’m going to try and wear it on my wrists a few times to see how that goes.

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Medusa’s Makeup Gloss “French Kiss” $9 This is probably my favorite item this month! First, the packaging is badass. I love it. Second, I have been wanting to try this brand for some time. I’m not a huge lip gloss fan, but I don’t mind trying out new ones. This shade looks like a baby pink, which isn’t my thing whatsoever. However, if I like the formula enough I might finally purchase a few things off their site, including the eye dusts that I have seen floating around Instagram for years now.

Total value of this month’s bag: $55.49

Overall thoughts: This was a decent high value bag! I’m excited to try out a few brands that I have been wanting to try, and I would have been way happier about the Milani lippie if I didn’t already have it in my stash. I am happy that they sent a variety of colors. There was a red, pink, and a fun violet color. I find that Lip Monthly would probably be way more awesome for people wanting to build up their lippie stash on a budget, but I don’t mind adding to my own collection. I should care at this point because my collection is ridiculous…#cantstopwontstop

If you get Lip Monthly, what did you get? Are you happy with your goodies? Or were they baddies? Okay, that’s my worst joke so far on my blog. I’m done now.

Have a lovely day!

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J.Cat Beauty Lip Paints: Review + Lip Swatches

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Hey loves,

Today for Swatch Saturday I actually have a video! I have been trying out the J.Cat Beauty lip paints that I ordered for a bit now, and I finally sat down and did a review with lip swatches for my Youtube channel! Lip swatch videos are very intense, so I apologize if a few of the darker colors are not very pretty looking. My mouth was on fire towards the end.

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Anyway, just a little tidbit: J.Cat is a cruelty free and very affordable brand. They seem to have a ton of lip products, and I am impressed with almost everything I have tried, and I want to order more.

In the lip paint line, there are 36 colors. The packaging and color range is very reminiscent of the OCC lip tars. They are pretty different though. I would say the J.Cat lip paints are similar in concept and shade range, but pretty different in terms of the finish and lasting power. A few of these do go on patchy and need building up, but the ones that are patchy make incredible mixing shades! Overall, I do enjoy these lip paints and they are fun to play around with!

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I’m considering doing a separate video with all of my favorite mixing combinations using these. Please let me know if you would be interested in something like that, and what colors you would want to see me create! I do know a bit about color theory. Not enough to brag about, but enough to get by.

Everything else that you may need/want to know is in the description underneath the video! Please watch it and let me know what you think. Also, if you’re not subscribed to me please do so! I’m so close to 300 subscribers! So close, yet so far away.

PS- I know I spelled “review” wrong in the opening credit. Way to start a video, right? It was late, and I was tired. It happens, and I’m too lazy to delete a video and re-upload over one letter. That’s precious time that could be spent listening to music in my underwear. I’m totally kidding…

I hope you’re all having amazing days! I do plan on sitting down and catching up on comments very soon, so please don’t think I’m ignoring you! My daughters joint birthday party is this weekend and I’ve been fairly busy with that.

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June Favorites

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Happy Saturday and Fourth of July! I posted my June Favorites video on my channel…last night.

I  know, it’s a few days late. I sat down three different times this past week to record it and I just wasn’t feeling right. I wasn’t happy with the lighting and my makeup. It was an off week for me in general, but I did finally feel well enough to sit down and record it again.

What were some of your favorites for the month? Link me to your blog posts and videos if you have them!

Now, I’m off to finally fulfill my craving for a burrito.

If you’re new here, please stick around for a bit if you want!

Have a good day, lovelies.

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Face of the Day: Elf Cosmetics

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Hey beauties,

Today I have another Face of the Day post, but there’s also a video tutorial on it! A little bit ago I posted a video about my top 10 favorite Elf products and I wanted to follow that up with a video using mostly Elf products. I used a few of my old favorites, and a few new favorites.

I even used and talked more about the new Elf contour palette!

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Isn’t it lovely? In short, I really like this palette so far and I think Elf did a great job with it!

For this tutorial, I did a very dark brown smokey eye…the kind of smokey eye my mom likes to refer to as “bedroom eyes.” Ha! I liked the way this turned out, and it would make my day if anyone that wants to watch it would and let me know what you think about it!

I know I’ve done a lot of bronzey and neutral looks lately, and I promise I will sit down soon and do something a little more colorful. Also, all of the products and brushes used are listed in the description under the video! If anyone has any questions or wants to know my thoughts on anything in particular, please feel free to ask! I promise that on Mondays I am too tired to bite.

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I do hope you all enjoy this very affordable makeup look!

Have a great Monday!

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Dear Harmony

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Dear Harmony,

Today is your third birthday, and so much has changed in those three years. We’ve moved and made hard decisions as a family, we even welcomed your baby sister to the family just a little over a year ago. Through all of that, my love for you has remained so strong and constant. Even when I feel like the ground beneath me is crumbling, I have a bit of consistency in the bond we’ve created over the past three years.

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I know the past year has been tough on you at times. I know that you don’t always understand that I have to give your sister lots of attention, and I’m sure that at times you feel left out. However, you’re the first person that I fell head over heels in love with at first sight. You’re the first person to make me forget to breathe, because all I could do was stare at how absolutely perfect you were from the moment I laid eyes on you. You’re the first absolute and truest love of my life. I’m not saying that I love you or Piper any more than the other, but there is something incredibly special about our bond…because it was just us for almost two years.

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When I first looked at you, I saw your father. I could see that you had his eyes. Then, I saw my granny. I know I wasn’t the only one that saw that because I could tell by the look on my dad’s face when he met you that he saw it as well. I could see her hair line, but over time I see so much of her personality in you. Your love for animals and art. The unique and infectious laugh that you have. The one little dimple on your cheek that my dad also has. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her and wish she could meet you, because I know she would love you so so much. You’re named after my two of my favorite women, my mom and my granny. I think my granny would be so tickled to learn that you’re a left handed animal lover that can already color in the lines.

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You had a rough start in this world. You were forced to come Earth side before you wanted because our lives were at risk. You struggled with jaundice, weight gain, and a tongue tie. My first time with a newborn wasn’t exactly sunshine and daisies at all times, but we somehow got through it together. Looking back, those rough times don’t even matter. That season was rough for me, but it was so so short. I would give anything to go back and hold in my arms and rock you for hours straight. I would give anything to just kiss your newborn head once more. I had so many people tell me that I held you too much. That I was spoiling you. I never listened to them, and I’m so glad that I didn’t. Even though I constantly held you, I still feel like I could’ve held you more. I still feel like I should’ve kissed your face a thousand times while you slept in my arms. There is no season in life as painfully short as that of a dependent baby. Now you’re rising into the season of growing independence, and it breaks my heart to watch your baby tendencies fade away.

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Now when I look at you I see a gorgeous preschooler. I see little curls bounce on top of your shoulders as you chase the husky around. I hear the adorable giggle you make when you’re playing with your sister. From the day we brought Piper home, you’ve been the best big sister. I’ve loved watching you help out when you can. I know that Piper adores you as well, and I hope that you all have the strongest bond that sisters can have growing up. I love to watch you try to help me change Piper’s diaper, or watch you hand her fruit or a toy. One day I’ll show you all the pictures I have of you nursing your own baby doll while I nursed Piper.

You have such a loving personality.

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You’re not the most vocal of kids, but your comprehensive skills have blown me away for a few years now. At this point, we kind of have a system, and I can decipher what you’re saying, even if you can’t come right out and say what you’re thinking. While sitting at the dinner table, you colored inside the lines like it was something you always knew how to do. You’re always surprising me with how much you already know.

You weren’t planned to come at the moment you did in my life. Many people do things in a certain order, and you came in a time in my life when things felt totally out of order. I wouldn’t change the timing for anything. You’ve given me a reason to wake up everyday. A reason to better myself. A reason to laugh, even when laughing is the furthest thing on my mind. I would be a liar if I said that there were a few days where you were the only thing keeping me on this Earth. Days where my mind was blurry, but my love for you was crystal clear.

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I’ve never met a human being more empathetic as you are so young. It’s as if you have a sensor, and you know exactly when I need an extra snuggle. You know when you to crawl in my lap and grab my face for a huge kiss. We can sit in the floor silently together playing with blocks, and it’s honestly the most soothing thing. I know that I haven’t always been great at hiding my meltdowns from you. I always fear that I’m going to frighten you, but each and every time you’ve just grabbed my face and kissed me. No one has ever done that for me. You have been my saving grace ways that you’ll never know, and you’re more compassionate and empathetic than most adults I know. You’ve seen me at my absolute worst, and I apologize for that, but each time you’ve held my face and told me that you loved me. In that moment, you were all I needed.

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People constantly tell me that you’re “too shy.” That I keep you too sheltered, and I need to make you interact with others. What they don’t see is you observing them, you watching them. You waiting to let your guard down because you’re the type of person that will either not like someone or pour your heart and soul into them. Physically, when I look at you I see your father. His soft brown eyes that pulled me in from the very beginning. I see so much of myself in your personality though. The sensitive little girl with a huge heart that not many people were willing to get to know. However, once they do they realize we’re capable of loving completely with our hearts and souls. You just gotta get past our love for creepy things and loud music.

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If you’re wondering, I will always yearn for the days when you were an infant. However, I’m looking forward to watching you learn and grow. I love listening to you create sentences now and repeat everything (okay, maybe not so much that…). I feel like everyday you wake up and something about your appearance has changed. Your chubby cheeks are not so chubby anymore, and now you’re a thin little kid. I can’t believe how gorgeous you are now. I can’t believe that someone so incredibly flawless came from someone as flawed as myself.

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Happy birthday, Harmony.

I hope we spend the entire day listening to old records and dancing in the living room.

Love,

Mom