Prepare for tons of mush and love in this post. It’s Mother’s Day, so naturally I want to post about my own mom because she is a huge part of my life.
I know everyone is going to be posting that their mom is the best. I could go that route, or I could just talk about her.
I could talk about how she was 16 when she gave birth to me, and how she has literally proved every single statistic regarding teenage moms wrong. I could talk about how she had 3 kids (me and my twin brothers) by the age of 19, and also rocked the absolute shit out of that life. I could talk about how she took my older brother in as her own when he was 14, and it was as if she had known and loved him all of her life.
My mom has been my rock since I was a child. When I was 5, I was diagnosed with asthma. It came with a weak immune system and lots of teasing thanks to my new permanent dark circles and wheezy breathing. When I would say I was feeling down or sick, my mom never questioned it. She always listened to me and made me feel validated. That actually saved my life a few times.
Oh, my teenage years were a bit rough though. I dealt with a lot of loss and weird typical teenage emotions, and my relationship with my mom was rough at times. As it is with many teenagers. However, we were still so close. I still went to her for everything. I still trusted her to validate my feelings and listen to me and even be my crying shoulder. A few times I had to be there for her when she had her hysterectomy. I had to be there for her as we were all at a loss of how to comfort my dad after my granny died, and a dark cloud kind of stayed over our house for a year.
My mom has always been my greatest support. When all of my friends were mad and doubted me when I started dating Jeremy, my mom admitted to having concerns, but always supported me. When I made the decision to move out, she expressed her concerns, but still helped me move out.
When I told her I was pregnant the first time, she cried. First out of shock, then out of joy. She was there for me every step of the way. She never once told me that I couldn’t have a natural birth. She never once tried to discourage me from breastfeeding because she didn’t do it with me. When I told her that I had been diagnosed with preeclampsia, she dropped everything just to be by my side. And I know now after having my own kids, that even though she looked and acted so strong for me, she was just as scared as me on the inside.
My mom has helped me pick up my life and move 3 times. She has listened to me and cry and vent.
She drove me to the birthing center when I went into labor with Piper, and even now I don’t know how she stayed so calm because I was legitimately howling all the way there. She held my hand and listened to me. She tried to soothe me and never once made me feel like I couldn’t have the un-medicated birthing experience I wanted, and I still believe she had so much to do with my own confidence. She knew what I wanted and never told me that I couldn’t achieve what I wanted.
That’s how I feel all parents should be. That’s what I strive to be as a mother myself. My mom is my parenting goal. I’ve never met anyone that can love anyone and everyone unconditionally, and yet still stand firm ground when it comes to her own boundaries. Sometimes I watch her gracefully deal with people and it’s almost unreal. The strongest woman I know.
She’s witnessed both of my girls being brought earth side. She has consistently been my little village and is always willing to give me a short break to grab coffee and collect my thoughts. She has never given me or Jeremy an empty promise.
She’s the voice that tells pessimistic, perfectionist me that “we will work something out.” She is constantly the calming voice in my raging storm of eternal doubt.
She is the one person I go to because she is the most non judgmental person I know. That woman wouldn’t hold a grudge with a fly if the fly displayed a bit of kindness. She is always willing to see the good in people, and is constantly giving to others.
There’s a huge part of me that wishes everyone that encountered my mom would show her the gratitude she deserves, but I also realize that it would take me a few lifetimes to do that myself. Because nothing beats a mom that’s also your best friend. Nothing beats a mom that believes in you, no matter how silly your dreams are to others.
My mom never discouraged me from doing what I wanted, no matter what it was or is even now. I feel that is so important, especially when raising girls and is something I will cherish as I raise my daughters. She never questioned me putting on lipgloss before a soccer game. She never questioned me putting on mascara before a science bowl or talking about Latin and makeup at the exact same time. She never told me that my love for surrealism and abstract art would get in the way of me playing sports. She never told me that my asthma would hinder me. She was just…there. Even when I met an obstacle, she helped me overcome it. She allowed me to learn and make mistakes and learn from those. My mom had a seemingly perfect balance of wanting to protect all of the time, but also wanted me to learn from my own mistakes and make mistakes.
No one beats my mom in my book.
The relationship I have with my mom is one that I will cherish for my entire life. It’s one that I crave to have with my own daughters. I know so many talk about how we should always appreciate our mothers and not just one day out of the year, and trust me, I try. I could thank my mom every damn day of the year and it would never be enough. The impact she has made in my life from the very start has been so loving and so incredible, and it would take me several lifetimes to even express a tiny bit of my gratitude. She knows I’m not always great with speaking.
I used to write my mom letters with how I was feeling when I was little. I would write the letter and quietly slip it under her door. I’m trying to view this post as just a big, virtual letter for her and everyone to see.
Because my mom deserves so much. I could go on forever about how she has worked for everything she has and continues to strive for more. She is constantly learning and trying to do better and be better in life, and that is something that inspires me on a daily basis.
My mom means the entire world to me, and I just wanted to take a few minutes today to express that to you all.
And Mother’s Day shouldn’t just be about biological mothers, it should be about anyone that you have felt was your guardian in some way. I just happen to call the best guardian anyone can have my mom.
So, I just want to say thanks to all of the guardians out there that truly know what unconditional love is. To those that are selfless and kind and have been there for others.
Happy Mother’s Day to you all. You are all so beautiful and important.